Mom's love

My favorite part of the day is the last few moments of holding the Bean right before I put her into the crib. It is the last part of our bedtime ritual - bath, vitamins, lotion, nursing, holding. She snuggles her fuzzy head right into the crook of my neck. She is warm and heavy against my chest. It is quite and twilight. It is perfect.

I cannot believe how quickly she is growing, how big she is getting. I just want to slow it all down because I have a feeling it only starts to go by even faster. I try to live in the moment each day with her, but I cannot help but think some day snuggling will be a rare occurrence. I think about how I have not lived near my mom in almost 15 years, and I cannot even begin to imagine not being near the Bean everyday. My mom is coming next week to stay with us for a couple of months. I know that when I pick her up at the airport I will get out of the car and giver her a big hug like we always do. But this time I will have a much clearer understanding of what that hug might mean to my mom. I could be way off base, it might be just a hug to her. I can only imagine that when I am the mom hugging the grown-up Bean after not seeing her for months I will feel a deep sense of relief and warmth and the crazy, overwhelming love that only exists in a mother's heart. That is what it feels like every night in those last few moments before she goes to bed.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there. I get it now.