Comedy of Errors

One of the most comforting things to think about when all hell breaks loose is, "At least this will make a pretty good blog post." Bill is out of town this week. He has been gone since Thursday which happens to be the first night the Bean really slept through the night. Thursday and Friday nights were a piece of cake. Apparently my yin needed some yang.

Saturday brought my first nighttime diaper blowout situation. Wow. That is a whole new level of clean-up. Around 4 in the morning the Bean started crying. Like a good Ferber Follower I let her cry for a bit, but she was not settling down like she normally did. So in I went to reassure her that I was still around if she truly needed me. Oh, she needed me alright! My daughter was laying in a big wet spot of leaky poo. I scooped her up and got her out of her pjs and began the great clean up. I had to turn on the light to see what was going on. And I had to put her in her Bumbo so I could use both hands to clean up. So she thought it was time to be awake and was looking up at me happy as a clam, naked save her diaper. Meanwhile I'm elbow deep in hot soapy water to rinse out her jammies and sheet. Poo rinsed out, I picked her up and turned off all of the lights when all of a sudden she projectile spit-up onto my foot. Great, whatever, nothing I can do about the chunky spit up between my toes at the moment. Into some new pjs she went and back into the crib. But she thought it was time to be awake so the crying/screaming/wailing began. "Ferber, Ferber, Ferber.... I can be strong... let her cry for a bit," at this point I need someone to pat my tummy and stroke my hair and reassure me that everything will be okay. Five minutes go by -- in I go, out I go. Seven minutes go by -- in I go, out I go. Finally she got her self back to sleep. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief -- PEANUT! Our wonderful, old, blind, neurotic dog began the I-have-to-pee dance which includes hot, stinky breath up in my face. Down the stairs we go. It is at this point that I realize the night is a total waste. There will be no rest for me. Once baby, dog, and mommy were all settled into bed the remainder of the early morning was peppered with whimpers from all three. Somewhere around 7 AM the Bean won (like she always does) and there we were, awake. Around 8 I decided coffee and pancakes would probably make the day a little easier.

Sometimes as I write these posts I think, "Experienced parents out there must think I'm so ridiculous." I fear that I write like these are huge important crazy experiences, because they are to me. But other parents must just think, "Duh, Kylie, that's the way it is. Get used to it." Oh well. At least I have something to write about.

FERBERIZE!

I just about lost it on Monday. I was so exhausted and warn out that I started crying in the car on the way to work, then again in a co-workers office when she asked me about a totally non-emotional subject. I had a running date with a friend after school which I thought would get rid of the extra stress I was feeling. While the run was great, I still went home feeling anxious and worn out. That night I had a mommy meltdown (which used to be called "Kylie Days"). I ugly cried it out and went to bed. But somewhere in the mess of that day I managed to check out Richard Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems from the library.
Tuesday morning I was a mom on a mission. I spent all of my free time reading as much as I could. The case-study named Betsy might as well have been named Bean because it was exactly what we had been going through. I felt as if Dr. Ferber had been watching our every move because it was so right on. Ten pages into chapter 4, "Sleep Assoications: A Key Problem," I was hooked and determined to try it out immediately. I could get into Ferber's theory at this point, but I will save you the long explanation. The key for us was the progressive waiting approach. The point is IT IS WORKING!!!
The first night when I put her in her crib while she was awake (and crying) I patted and kissed her and then got the heck out of there. I went back in after 3 minutes to pat her tummy and tell her I loved her and then got the heck out of there. I went in 5 minutes later to do the same thing and then got the heck out of there. This technique called for me to go in 10 minutes later if she was still crying but she had gone to sleep!! So rather than doing the 15 mintue holding-rocking-bounching-"I love you"- dance over and over again, I had to only go in a couple of times before she had put herself to sleep. VICTORY! She slept for about 1 1/2 hours and then woke up. So I started again... 3 minutes of crying, then in I went and out I went. I was on the second step (letting her cry for 5 mintues) and 4 minutes into it she was OUT! I didn't even need to go back in. WHAT?! This continued throughout the night. By about the third or fourth waking she was putting herself back to sleep before the 3 minutes were even up. The next morning I felt like a new empowered woman.
Last night was our second go. I fed her, hugged her and put her in the crib awake. I was prepared to let her cry for 5 minutes this time. I left her room and before I was even down the stairs she was asleep! Every time she stirred from then on we would hear a little fussing and then silence. I think I actually slept for three hours at one point without waking up. She also stayed asleep in her crib longer this morning. This is the first morning I have not had to bring her into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning. AND she woke up with a smile.
Can this be true?! Has my daughter learned to put herself back to sleep in only two short days? I feel so encouraged I can hardly stand it.

Sleep give thee all thy rest

I find it hilarious that the Bean's nursery is A Midsummer Night's Dream theme. One would need to sleep in order to dream.

I've been back to work now for about six weeks. A friend of mine warned me that the Bean might not sleep as well at night once I went back to work. That was an understatement. At first, it was endearing that she wanted to be with me at night because I was gone all day. I told myself it would get better once she got used to our new routine. Then I thought she was not sleeping well because she was hungry; perhaps mama's milk wasn't enough for her anymore and she needed to start on cereal. The doctor took one look at her and basically told me that there was no way she was hungry due to her pleasantly plump figure. He did say it might be time to let her "cry a little." Okay, then. Maybe it is time to let her "cry it out." We started researching different methods of "sleep training" (yes, non-parents this is a real thing). I quickly realized there was an overwhelming number of "training" programs and they run the gamut on how much and how often a parent should let a baby cry. Both ends of the spectrum claim that their way will help babies develop into self-sufficient children who feel loved and protected while the other guy's way will turn your baby into a needy, heartbroken mess. Most of them agree on one thing... you shouldn't let her cry anything out until she is 6 months. Then we thought her pacifier might be the problem. Obviously she was waking up when her pacifier fell out. We must break her of her pacifier dependency ("Hi. My name is Bean and I'm a Paciholic"). A little internet research and we decided that cold turkey was the way to go. It looked like it would take a few days of hell, but then everything would be roses. Night #1: Bad. Night #2: The best sleep I'd gotten in over a month. VICTORY! Night #3: Hello 1 AM, and 2AM, and 2:45 AM....So here I am today with a 4 1/2-month-old baby who wakes up every hour AT LEAST.

I have no idea what to do. The best thing we can figure is to fight through this until my spring break at which point she will be almost 6 months. We will attempt to Ferberize her (not just a joke on Modern Family) then. If I don't get any sleep at night at least I can nap during the day that week and hopefully she will figure it out by the end of the week. What do I do until then?

I would love some advice from any moms and dads out there who went through a similar situation. I do NOT want to hear that your baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. I do NOT want anyone to tell me it will get better/worse. However, I fear that this phase is just like everything else I've learned about parenting.... we just have to figure out what works for us. "Though she be but little she is fierce."