The Bean

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sleep give thee all thy rest

I find it hilarious that the Bean's nursery is A Midsummer Night's Dream theme. One would need to sleep in order to dream.
I've been back to work now for about six weeks. A friend of mine warned me that the Bean might not sleep as well at night once I went back to work. That was an understatement. At first, it was endearing that she wanted to be with me at night because I was gone all day. I told myself it would get better once she got used to our new routine. Then I thought she was not sleeping well because she was hungry; perhaps mama's milk wasn't enough for her anymore and she needed to start on cereal. The doctor took one look at her and basically told me that there was no way she was hungry due to her pleasantly plump figure. He did say it might be time to let her "cry a little." Okay, then. Maybe it is time to let her "cry it out." We started researching different methods of "sleep training" (yes, non-parents this is a real thing). I quickly realized there was an overwhelming number of "training" programs and they run the gamut on how much and how often a parent should let a baby cry. Both ends of the spectrum claim that their way will help babies develop into self-sufficient children who feel loved and protected while the other guy's way will turn your baby into a needy, heartbroken mess. Most of them agree on one thing... you shouldn't let her cry anything out until she is 6 months. Then we thought her pacifier might be the problem. Obviously she was waking up when her pacifier fell out. We must break her of her pacifier dependency ("Hi. My name is Bean and I'm a Paciholic"). A little internet research and we decided that cold turkey was the way to go. It looked like it would take a few days of hell, but then everything would be roses. Night #1: Bad. Night #2: The best sleep I'd gotten in over a month. VICTORY! Night #3: Hello 1 AM, and 2AM, and 2:45 AM....So here I am today with a 4 1/2-month-old baby who wakes up every hour AT LEAST.
I have no idea what to do. The best thing we can figure is to fight through this until my spring break at which point she will be almost 6 months. We will attempt to Ferberize her (not just a joke on Modern Family) then. If I don't get any sleep at night at least I can nap during the day that week and hopefully she will figure it out by the end of the week. What do I do until then?
I would love some advice from any moms and dads out there who went through a similar situation. I do NOT want to hear that your baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. I do NOT want anyone to tell me it will get better/worse. However, I fear that this phase is just like everything else I've learned about parenting.... we just have to figure out what works for us. "Though she be but little she is fierce."


  1. Question: Is she still sleeping in your room or hers? Is she sleeping on her tummy or back? If you've moved her out, maybe try bringing her back to your room. If she's in your room, maybe try the crib. If she's still on her back, try her belly (I have Hayden on his belly already because he sleeps best that way). Or bring her in bed with you. Might not be a habit you want to get into, but could help in the shortrun. Maybe something new will get you through spring break when you start CIO. We are big fans of CIO. Works well for us. And when all else fails, we vote for just turning off the monitor.

  2. Both of mine came to CIO time... my mother's advice when we got there was to watch the clock. It always feels much longer than it really is. I even think we let them cry earlier than 6 months. If she's done it before then sleeping through the night should be in her "wheelhouse" so to speak. Other than that... I think you've been doing a fantastic job so far and I love you.

  3. Like you said - I think it'll have to be what works for you! But I did some things that I never thought I would do with my girls in order to get sleep. One was to let my babies sleep in my bed for a few months. I was totally against this but I would put my girls to bed in their cribs and then they would wake up about 1 or 2 a.m. and I would bring them back to bed with me and they would sleep the rest of the night. I decided my sleep was more important than my "plans". Plus I don't move much in my sleep nor does my husband so no worries about rolling over the baby. It worked for us and about a year old (when I stopped nursing them) I moved them into a crib with no problems.

    That was long! I actually write a parenting blog on There are tons of bloggers on there and tons of answers if you want to read other options!

  4. Thanks, Ladies. All great advice. She does sleep with me (on me) at some point, usually the last couple hours of my sleep. She sleeps like a dream, but I wake up a little stiff. That is the best short term solution I've come up with. I would like to experiment with putting her on her tummy to sleep, but "back-to-sleep" has put the fear of god in me. I think CIO might be closer than I originally planned.

  5. CIO!CIO!CIO! But most important, do not start something you do not want to continue for fear that you will have to go through this all over again. It's kind of like potty training. Once you get Lilly out of the diaper, you don't want to have to go back to changing her diaper all over again. You can do it! It's hard but you have great support. We are all here for you.

  6. Oh Kylie I love your blog and I feel your pain! Mine is now seven months and has been like a newborn again.. Up every 2-3 hours. He is teething..Joy! I don't know anything to be honest. He goes through spurts of sleeping through the night (7pm-7am) with one nursing time in between. And other times where he wakes up to 3 times. I remember mine waking a lot during his fourth month. I think he was practicing everything he was learning in his sleep and this was waking him up. I wanted to scream. But it did pass and I got a few amazing weeks of sleep. I have heard and read that four month sleep regression is normal. Mine naturally started napping and going to bed between 7-8 during his fifth month. Also heard this was normal. I hope soon your little bean will start getting into a more scheduled sleeping routine. Mommy needs sleep! Let us know how it goes and Congrats on your beautiful baby!