What was I about to say?

All day, everyday, there are moments when I think, "Oh, man! This is totally what my next blog post will be about! I can't believe this is happening!" Then the day moves on and I run out of two-hands-free moments to type. Then a beautiful, peaceful moment opens up... like right now. Bill, Bean, and Peanut are sound asleep. I've had coffee. I've checked my email and the Facebooks. Now I can finally write. But alas, I cannot think of a DARN (I have a child now, people) thing that I wanted to write about. I cannot let this two-hands-free moment pass so I find myself writing about the fact that I can't remember what I wanted to write about. Isn't parenthood amazing?

There was something about becoming a master of using one hand to eat, cook, type, etc. There was another thing about using my toes to move things around the house. Oh and there is a whole post waiting to happen about how the time of day to do household chores has completely changed (When is the last time you went grocery shopping at 8:00 AM or deep cleaned your kitchen at 10:00 PM?). Perhaps I should keep a little notepad around my neck.

This two-hands-free moment has come to an end. The Bean is squawking for attention.

Bonus chapstick and other happenings

The New Year has brought many exciting things in the shape of a 2-month-old baby. In no particular order:

1. The Bean is now smiling for real (not just when she toots).

2. She is starting to chat with us. Some might call it cooing, but we know that she is communicating big important thoughts.

3. Her brain has not quite grasped what her hands are for, but her mouth certainly has. That loud sucking noise you hear coming from the back seat/bassinet/other room would be my beautiful daughter trying to fit her entire fist into her mouth and often succeeding. My favorite thing is when she is nursing and tries to get her hand in her mouth at the same time. Nice try, kiddo.

4. I am officially a diaper snob. People always say, "Oh, with my first born I had to have the name brand diapers, but then I came to my senses with my second and bought the store brand." Screw those people. I will probably, eventually become one of those people, but until then I am a Pampers woman! (Side note: Don't be fooled by the shiny, well-known Huggies. Huggies are for chumps... and by chumps I mean babies who are not capable of the amazing amount of poop the Bean can produce. Pampers are the only thing that can contain her awesomeness.) I did the economical thing and purchased the store brand. She had them on for about 30 minutes until I realized they were total crap and that I was not going to get any sleep tonight knowing that she had them on. At 9:45 PM I realized all we had were a whole bag of crappy store brand and 4 Huggies and NO PAMPERS in the house. The Huggies could have gotten us through the night with a blowout or two, but then what tomorrow? So at 10:00 at night I embraced my diaper snobbery and went to Target for my favorite diapers. Actually it was a diaper/wine run to Target. Wow.

5. Apparently infant skin is not really made for the dry weather typical of DC this time of year. How did we discover this you might wonder. Let me tell you.... We flew to and from the Northwest for Christmas and the Bean handled both plane rides like a pro. Slept the entire way in both directions. We had been back in DC for about an hour when she started screaming and crying. Nothing we could do would calm her. She continued to scream and cry off and on all night long and into the morning. "Well, that's what babies do" you might say. Not this baby. She just doesn't cry. I'm not saying that to flaunt, I'm just saying this crying/screaming was uncharacteristic of her behavior. So into the doctor we went. Everyone's first assumption (by everyone I mean mine, Bill's, my mom, the advice nurse on the phone, and the doctor) was that her little ears gotten hurt during the landing. But the amazing Dr. S (who we love) ruled out ears, nose, throat, and any other kind of sickness. I mentioned her dry skin off hand and he said no baby lotion, stick to Vaseline. Then he looked a little more closely at her body and said, "Oh yeah! Let me give you something a little stronger." So we left with a prescription for some cool ointment. The directions: cover her literally from head to toe with the ointment and vaseline at least twice a day. After one day of this she stopped crying/screaming and proceeded to sleep for 7 HOURS that night! Dry skin. That's what the problem was all along. So now we have the world's most slippery baby, but her skin is to-die-for soft and creamy. Makes me think I should take a dip in vaseline twice a day as well. The side of my face and neck, my hands, and hair are now consistently covered in a thin film of vaseline all day long. And when we kiss the Bean, TADA! Chapstick! My lips have never been so hydrated! It is going to be a very greasy winter, but we will all be happier for it.

6. We hit the child care jackpot! My cousin, Meg, will be coming to live with us for three months to take care of the Bean while I'm at work and Bill's at school. Then my mom is coming out for the remaining two months until I'm done teaching for the summer. I cannot tell you how relieved we are to be leaving her with family. I think it will make going back to work a little easier (if that is even possible). You know, I always said that I don't think I could be a stay at home mom, but I think I was wrong. I think it would be pretty wonderful. It really is so funny how much we say about parenting before we are actually parents. I had all the best intentions when I said, "Oh, I could never not work," or "I can still do a million after school activities with a baby. No problem!" Ha! I laugh at my pre-baby self. I had NO idea. Who could ever leave this?

Oh, this is MY body!

Today I went to the gym for the first time post-pregancy. Thankfully a friend of ours volunteered to watch the Bean for 45 minutes while I hit the law school gym. Many things ran through my head while on the treadmill. Here is a selection in no particular order:

*Oh wow I need a different sports bra. This one that has been holding the big girls up while hanging out around the house is NOT gonna do it for running. I miss the little girls. I hope they come back some day.

*Holy crap. This running business is difficult. Wait, nothing is harder than birthing a baby. I can do this!

*Well, I CAN do this, but I don't HAVE to do this. I HAD to birth the Bean.

*Hey, my legs are moving and my arms are swinging. I'm not carrying a baby. This is just all me working here. This feels great!

Most of all it felt great to have my body all to myself for a few minutes. So much of being pregnant and nursing is about being a vehicle for what your baby needs. It was a breath of fresh air to return to something that was about my body working for me. Don't get me wrong, I certainly love being able to give the Bean what she needs; I also love a 45 minute break from it.

Baby aside, I have a lot of work to do in the running department. It wasn't quite as bad as when I first started to run. Although it might be, but now I know what my body is capable of and I know that this lack of fitness is only temporary. It is actually pretty exciting to be at ground zero again and have to work my way back up. I probably won't be running a marathon anytime soon, but there is certainly a 5k with my name all over it!

(Finishing a half-marathon in May 2009)

Ready for my close up

I've always been one to get out of bed and out the door pretty quickly while looking nicely put together (if you disagree, keep it to yourself). Being a new parent, however has made me adjust my standard level of "readiness" for the day. The look is directly related to the night before. Let me break this down for you:

"Wow, you just had a baby?! You don't look it. Good for you!"

This is the gold standard, pre-baby look. My hair is blow dried, my bangs sweep to the side. Face moisturizer has been applied. There is a touch of mascara, blush, and lip gloss, the perfect amount really. My contacts are fresh and in my eyes. I have even managed a spritz of perfume. I am wearing pre-pregancy clothes from head to toe. I am wearing pearls. I am one HOT MOM. You should know right now that this has occurred once, maybe twice in the last five weeks.

"Hey, you look nice. Not tired at all."

Hair is blow dried, bangs off forehead with one strategically placed bobby pin. Mascara? Check! I've got my glasses on. Cute jeans, cami, cardigan. Deodorant has been applied.

"How are you feeling? Look at how cute your baby is." (note the diversion to the baby)

My hair will just have to air-dry. If I add a couple of clips it will be decent. Glasses. Maternity jeans. They just go on so easily... hooray for the secret fit expand-o belly waist! Cami, Grandma Nita's comfy sweater (hey, chunky sweaters are in season, right?). I look okay without makeup, right? "Honey, have you seen my glasses?" Oh, here they are on my face.

"Ma'am, you need some help." (Actually said to me by a stranger yesterday while on a walk with the stroller and dog)

Hair is totally wet and is being held off of my face with 4 clips placed at random and a rubber band. Where the hell are my glasses?! Sweats, old race T-shirt (I was a runner once). Did I brush my teeth?

I like to think I hover between the second and third level. If you happen to see me in the last look, don't worry. I know. There is no need to be a good friend and tell me. Yesterday I caught my reflection in the window and thought I looked like a homeless person. By 10pm I was covered in breast milk, spit-up, snot, tears, and dog saliva. Yesterday was not one of my better days. But it is on those of days when the Bean is cuter than ever and my heart melts when I look down at her. Totally worth it.

Online Shopping

I never thought I would be an online shopper. In fact, I would not say that I am now, however...

Yesterday I was introduced to zulily.com which has amazing sales on wonderful baby, kid, mom stuff. Brands and things that I didn't even know existed. It has only been one day, but I think I will become addicted! They have new sales everyday which is brilliant marketing on their part. I now have no choice but to go look every day!

The first thing I purchased today was a MUST. Our inspiration for the Bean's nursery is A Midsummer Night's Dream. So what did I find at zulily today? The perfect picture! It is even called Midsummer Night's Dream. Did I mention that the nursery is green and lavender? It's like this picture was made for Bean. I couldn't exactly pass that one up, right? AND it was only $14.99 (originally $30.00).

Then I decided to buy one FuzziBunz cloth diaper. Yes, just one. I thought I could try it out without committing to the whole process. This deal: $11.99, regularly $17.00.

Online shopping takes an incredible amount of self control. I have every intension of just window shopping. We'll see how that goes.

Holy Aching Body, Batman!

Oh my word. The first few days of mommy-dom had me thinking that the little kinks in my back were cute. "Oh, my back is a little sore from picking up the Bean. Isn't that sweet?" Ha! Let us count the aches and pains three weeks into my new role:

1. lower back (from carrying her and bending toward her)

2. upper back (from carrying her and bending toward her)

3. knees (from sitting funny when I feed her)

4. neck (from looking at her when I feed her)

5. jaw... this one is REALLY weird. I deduced that my jaw juts forward when I look at her as I feed her. The gravity pulls it down. The other day my teeth did not line up correctly when I ate. I think I've figure out how to keep this from happening anymore.

6. wrists (from holding her in various positions)

7. thumbs (still not sure about this one)

I think the biggest culprit is the feeding. I'm still looking for that perfect way to hold her while she eats. I think I've hit upon a good position, but it only worked once. The real test will be if it works in the middle of the night. Since she is getting a little heavier (9 lbs.) the original position for feeding a 7.5 lbs. baby does not seem to do it anymore. Who would have thought a pound and a half would make that big of a difference? I can only imagine when she is twenty pounds. Although by then she will have control of her head. I think the lack of developed neck muscles is the challenging part. I also think the 1.5 lbs. that she has gained are all in her cheeks and neck (note the picture above). So that, paired with her wobbly muscles, make it a little difficult to position her head correctly. Have no fear... I have scheduled a massage for tomorrow. Also on the agenda, figure out how to use the wrap and strap her to my chest from now on. Done whining.

I think this little person is amazing! We just giggle and laugh at the smallest things. This morning we watched her stretch as she woke up. It was just so HUMAN! I know that sounds silly. It is so cool to see her do things that I know she will continue to do as a child, teenager, and adult. Like the way she stretches first thing in the morning. Or the way her little right hand makes a fist and rests by her cheek when she sleeps. We have a sonogram picture of her in the same position. That is just so cool to me! I also love the weird noises she makes when she sleeps. The first couple of nights I remember wondering if each noise she made was good or bad. Now it is so nice to know the sounds. The weird gurgling...the little dolphin noise.... the straining noise that accompanies a big stretch... all of these are normal now and no longer cause for alarm. It's like I'm learning or something.

Alright, off to fold laundry and enjoy a glass of wine while the Bean is still asleep.

Seriously, I need to relax

I keep waiting for this mythological schedule to reveal itself. I have heard from more than one person, "Give it a couple of weeks and the two of you will come to learn her schedule." Bull-own-ee. There have been several 2-3 day stretches when I think, "Ah-ha! I've got this now." And then The Bean changes it up. Today's latest concern... how often she is eating. About a week ago I was worried because she was eating every 3-4 hours when all of the smart baby people (doctors, nurses, moms) said she should be eating every 2-3 hours. So I'm thinking, "Great. I'm not feeding her enough." No, no, no, new mom! The amazing weight gain proved otherwise! Sweet, my baby doesn't need to eat so often and she will still grow at a great rate.

Fast forward to three days later.... The Bean cannot get enough milk! She is crying every hour and a half for more milk. I can't keep up. I walk around topless just waiting for her to cry. She cries so we quickly go through the list... Diaper? Clean. Burps and toots. Not happening. Oh my god! She is already hungry again. Good thing I'm topless. So at her 2 week check up I mention how often she is eating. The amazing doctor who we love says to try a pacifier to see if you can stretch out that last half hour. Cool, Doc. Let's do it. Pacifier is AWESOME by the way.

Here we are today. I wake up thinking, "Okay, I've got this. She's going to be hungry and we will stretch out to two hours with the Pacifier. Got it." NO, I DON'T. The Bean wakes up at 7:00 AM wanting some breakfast. Okay, cool. Nope, she won't eat for more than 5 minutes. So I go pump thinking she will want it in a half hour or so. Nope, she doesn't. Two hours go by and I'm thinking, "Man she really needs to eat!" So I slowly give her the bottle. It takes her an hour to finish it. So I quickly do the math... she has had the amount of one feeding in the last five hours! Yikes, that is really not enough. It is now, 12:30 P.M. Time for more eating. she is dead asleep. I'm not waking her up because that never works. I guess we are back to the 3-4 hour stretches of not eating.

Damn, just when I thought I'd figured this all out.