FERBERIZE!

I just about lost it on Monday. I was so exhausted and warn out that I started crying in the car on the way to work, then again in a co-workers office when she asked me about a totally non-emotional subject. I had a running date with a friend after school which I thought would get rid of the extra stress I was feeling. While the run was great, I still went home feeling anxious and worn out. That night I had a mommy meltdown (which used to be called "Kylie Days"). I ugly cried it out and went to bed. But somewhere in the mess of that day I managed to check out Richard Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems from the library.
Tuesday morning I was a mom on a mission. I spent all of my free time reading as much as I could. The case-study named Betsy might as well have been named Bean because it was exactly what we had been going through. I felt as if Dr. Ferber had been watching our every move because it was so right on. Ten pages into chapter 4, "Sleep Assoications: A Key Problem," I was hooked and determined to try it out immediately. I could get into Ferber's theory at this point, but I will save you the long explanation. The key for us was the progressive waiting approach. The point is IT IS WORKING!!!
The first night when I put her in her crib while she was awake (and crying) I patted and kissed her and then got the heck out of there. I went back in after 3 minutes to pat her tummy and tell her I loved her and then got the heck out of there. I went in 5 minutes later to do the same thing and then got the heck out of there. This technique called for me to go in 10 minutes later if she was still crying but she had gone to sleep!! So rather than doing the 15 mintue holding-rocking-bounching-"I love you"- dance over and over again, I had to only go in a couple of times before she had put herself to sleep. VICTORY! She slept for about 1 1/2 hours and then woke up. So I started again... 3 minutes of crying, then in I went and out I went. I was on the second step (letting her cry for 5 mintues) and 4 minutes into it she was OUT! I didn't even need to go back in. WHAT?! This continued throughout the night. By about the third or fourth waking she was putting herself back to sleep before the 3 minutes were even up. The next morning I felt like a new empowered woman.
Last night was our second go. I fed her, hugged her and put her in the crib awake. I was prepared to let her cry for 5 minutes this time. I left her room and before I was even down the stairs she was asleep! Every time she stirred from then on we would hear a little fussing and then silence. I think I actually slept for three hours at one point without waking up. She also stayed asleep in her crib longer this morning. This is the first morning I have not had to bring her into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning. AND she woke up with a smile.
Can this be true?! Has my daughter learned to put herself back to sleep in only two short days? I feel so encouraged I can hardly stand it.

Sleep give thee all thy rest

I find it hilarious that the Bean's nursery is A Midsummer Night's Dream theme. One would need to sleep in order to dream.

I've been back to work now for about six weeks. A friend of mine warned me that the Bean might not sleep as well at night once I went back to work. That was an understatement. At first, it was endearing that she wanted to be with me at night because I was gone all day. I told myself it would get better once she got used to our new routine. Then I thought she was not sleeping well because she was hungry; perhaps mama's milk wasn't enough for her anymore and she needed to start on cereal. The doctor took one look at her and basically told me that there was no way she was hungry due to her pleasantly plump figure. He did say it might be time to let her "cry a little." Okay, then. Maybe it is time to let her "cry it out." We started researching different methods of "sleep training" (yes, non-parents this is a real thing). I quickly realized there was an overwhelming number of "training" programs and they run the gamut on how much and how often a parent should let a baby cry. Both ends of the spectrum claim that their way will help babies develop into self-sufficient children who feel loved and protected while the other guy's way will turn your baby into a needy, heartbroken mess. Most of them agree on one thing... you shouldn't let her cry anything out until she is 6 months. Then we thought her pacifier might be the problem. Obviously she was waking up when her pacifier fell out. We must break her of her pacifier dependency ("Hi. My name is Bean and I'm a Paciholic"). A little internet research and we decided that cold turkey was the way to go. It looked like it would take a few days of hell, but then everything would be roses. Night #1: Bad. Night #2: The best sleep I'd gotten in over a month. VICTORY! Night #3: Hello 1 AM, and 2AM, and 2:45 AM....So here I am today with a 4 1/2-month-old baby who wakes up every hour AT LEAST.

I have no idea what to do. The best thing we can figure is to fight through this until my spring break at which point she will be almost 6 months. We will attempt to Ferberize her (not just a joke on Modern Family) then. If I don't get any sleep at night at least I can nap during the day that week and hopefully she will figure it out by the end of the week. What do I do until then?

I would love some advice from any moms and dads out there who went through a similar situation. I do NOT want to hear that your baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. I do NOT want anyone to tell me it will get better/worse. However, I fear that this phase is just like everything else I've learned about parenting.... we just have to figure out what works for us. "Though she be but little she is fierce."

What was I about to say?

All day, everyday, there are moments when I think, "Oh, man! This is totally what my next blog post will be about! I can't believe this is happening!" Then the day moves on and I run out of two-hands-free moments to type. Then a beautiful, peaceful moment opens up... like right now. Bill, Bean, and Peanut are sound asleep. I've had coffee. I've checked my email and the Facebooks. Now I can finally write. But alas, I cannot think of a DARN (I have a child now, people) thing that I wanted to write about. I cannot let this two-hands-free moment pass so I find myself writing about the fact that I can't remember what I wanted to write about. Isn't parenthood amazing?

There was something about becoming a master of using one hand to eat, cook, type, etc. There was another thing about using my toes to move things around the house. Oh and there is a whole post waiting to happen about how the time of day to do household chores has completely changed (When is the last time you went grocery shopping at 8:00 AM or deep cleaned your kitchen at 10:00 PM?). Perhaps I should keep a little notepad around my neck.

This two-hands-free moment has come to an end. The Bean is squawking for attention.

Bonus chapstick and other happenings

The New Year has brought many exciting things in the shape of a 2-month-old baby. In no particular order:

1. The Bean is now smiling for real (not just when she toots).

2. She is starting to chat with us. Some might call it cooing, but we know that she is communicating big important thoughts.

3. Her brain has not quite grasped what her hands are for, but her mouth certainly has. That loud sucking noise you hear coming from the back seat/bassinet/other room would be my beautiful daughter trying to fit her entire fist into her mouth and often succeeding. My favorite thing is when she is nursing and tries to get her hand in her mouth at the same time. Nice try, kiddo.

4. I am officially a diaper snob. People always say, "Oh, with my first born I had to have the name brand diapers, but then I came to my senses with my second and bought the store brand." Screw those people. I will probably, eventually become one of those people, but until then I am a Pampers woman! (Side note: Don't be fooled by the shiny, well-known Huggies. Huggies are for chumps... and by chumps I mean babies who are not capable of the amazing amount of poop the Bean can produce. Pampers are the only thing that can contain her awesomeness.) I did the economical thing and purchased the store brand. She had them on for about 30 minutes until I realized they were total crap and that I was not going to get any sleep tonight knowing that she had them on. At 9:45 PM I realized all we had were a whole bag of crappy store brand and 4 Huggies and NO PAMPERS in the house. The Huggies could have gotten us through the night with a blowout or two, but then what tomorrow? So at 10:00 at night I embraced my diaper snobbery and went to Target for my favorite diapers. Actually it was a diaper/wine run to Target. Wow.

5. Apparently infant skin is not really made for the dry weather typical of DC this time of year. How did we discover this you might wonder. Let me tell you.... We flew to and from the Northwest for Christmas and the Bean handled both plane rides like a pro. Slept the entire way in both directions. We had been back in DC for about an hour when she started screaming and crying. Nothing we could do would calm her. She continued to scream and cry off and on all night long and into the morning. "Well, that's what babies do" you might say. Not this baby. She just doesn't cry. I'm not saying that to flaunt, I'm just saying this crying/screaming was uncharacteristic of her behavior. So into the doctor we went. Everyone's first assumption (by everyone I mean mine, Bill's, my mom, the advice nurse on the phone, and the doctor) was that her little ears gotten hurt during the landing. But the amazing Dr. S (who we love) ruled out ears, nose, throat, and any other kind of sickness. I mentioned her dry skin off hand and he said no baby lotion, stick to Vaseline. Then he looked a little more closely at her body and said, "Oh yeah! Let me give you something a little stronger." So we left with a prescription for some cool ointment. The directions: cover her literally from head to toe with the ointment and vaseline at least twice a day. After one day of this she stopped crying/screaming and proceeded to sleep for 7 HOURS that night! Dry skin. That's what the problem was all along. So now we have the world's most slippery baby, but her skin is to-die-for soft and creamy. Makes me think I should take a dip in vaseline twice a day as well. The side of my face and neck, my hands, and hair are now consistently covered in a thin film of vaseline all day long. And when we kiss the Bean, TADA! Chapstick! My lips have never been so hydrated! It is going to be a very greasy winter, but we will all be happier for it.

6. We hit the child care jackpot! My cousin, Meg, will be coming to live with us for three months to take care of the Bean while I'm at work and Bill's at school. Then my mom is coming out for the remaining two months until I'm done teaching for the summer. I cannot tell you how relieved we are to be leaving her with family. I think it will make going back to work a little easier (if that is even possible). You know, I always said that I don't think I could be a stay at home mom, but I think I was wrong. I think it would be pretty wonderful. It really is so funny how much we say about parenting before we are actually parents. I had all the best intentions when I said, "Oh, I could never not work," or "I can still do a million after school activities with a baby. No problem!" Ha! I laugh at my pre-baby self. I had NO idea. Who could ever leave this?

Oh, this is MY body!

Today I went to the gym for the first time post-pregancy. Thankfully a friend of ours volunteered to watch the Bean for 45 minutes while I hit the law school gym. Many things ran through my head while on the treadmill. Here is a selection in no particular order:

*Oh wow I need a different sports bra. This one that has been holding the big girls up while hanging out around the house is NOT gonna do it for running. I miss the little girls. I hope they come back some day.

*Holy crap. This running business is difficult. Wait, nothing is harder than birthing a baby. I can do this!

*Well, I CAN do this, but I don't HAVE to do this. I HAD to birth the Bean.

*Hey, my legs are moving and my arms are swinging. I'm not carrying a baby. This is just all me working here. This feels great!

Most of all it felt great to have my body all to myself for a few minutes. So much of being pregnant and nursing is about being a vehicle for what your baby needs. It was a breath of fresh air to return to something that was about my body working for me. Don't get me wrong, I certainly love being able to give the Bean what she needs; I also love a 45 minute break from it.

Baby aside, I have a lot of work to do in the running department. It wasn't quite as bad as when I first started to run. Although it might be, but now I know what my body is capable of and I know that this lack of fitness is only temporary. It is actually pretty exciting to be at ground zero again and have to work my way back up. I probably won't be running a marathon anytime soon, but there is certainly a 5k with my name all over it!

(Finishing a half-marathon in May 2009)

Ready for my close up

I've always been one to get out of bed and out the door pretty quickly while looking nicely put together (if you disagree, keep it to yourself). Being a new parent, however has made me adjust my standard level of "readiness" for the day. The look is directly related to the night before. Let me break this down for you:

"Wow, you just had a baby?! You don't look it. Good for you!"

This is the gold standard, pre-baby look. My hair is blow dried, my bangs sweep to the side. Face moisturizer has been applied. There is a touch of mascara, blush, and lip gloss, the perfect amount really. My contacts are fresh and in my eyes. I have even managed a spritz of perfume. I am wearing pre-pregancy clothes from head to toe. I am wearing pearls. I am one HOT MOM. You should know right now that this has occurred once, maybe twice in the last five weeks.

"Hey, you look nice. Not tired at all."

Hair is blow dried, bangs off forehead with one strategically placed bobby pin. Mascara? Check! I've got my glasses on. Cute jeans, cami, cardigan. Deodorant has been applied.

"How are you feeling? Look at how cute your baby is." (note the diversion to the baby)

My hair will just have to air-dry. If I add a couple of clips it will be decent. Glasses. Maternity jeans. They just go on so easily... hooray for the secret fit expand-o belly waist! Cami, Grandma Nita's comfy sweater (hey, chunky sweaters are in season, right?). I look okay without makeup, right? "Honey, have you seen my glasses?" Oh, here they are on my face.

"Ma'am, you need some help." (Actually said to me by a stranger yesterday while on a walk with the stroller and dog)

Hair is totally wet and is being held off of my face with 4 clips placed at random and a rubber band. Where the hell are my glasses?! Sweats, old race T-shirt (I was a runner once). Did I brush my teeth?

I like to think I hover between the second and third level. If you happen to see me in the last look, don't worry. I know. There is no need to be a good friend and tell me. Yesterday I caught my reflection in the window and thought I looked like a homeless person. By 10pm I was covered in breast milk, spit-up, snot, tears, and dog saliva. Yesterday was not one of my better days. But it is on those of days when the Bean is cuter than ever and my heart melts when I look down at her. Totally worth it.

Online Shopping

I never thought I would be an online shopper. In fact, I would not say that I am now, however...

Yesterday I was introduced to zulily.com which has amazing sales on wonderful baby, kid, mom stuff. Brands and things that I didn't even know existed. It has only been one day, but I think I will become addicted! They have new sales everyday which is brilliant marketing on their part. I now have no choice but to go look every day!

The first thing I purchased today was a MUST. Our inspiration for the Bean's nursery is A Midsummer Night's Dream. So what did I find at zulily today? The perfect picture! It is even called Midsummer Night's Dream. Did I mention that the nursery is green and lavender? It's like this picture was made for Bean. I couldn't exactly pass that one up, right? AND it was only $14.99 (originally $30.00).

Then I decided to buy one FuzziBunz cloth diaper. Yes, just one. I thought I could try it out without committing to the whole process. This deal: $11.99, regularly $17.00.

Online shopping takes an incredible amount of self control. I have every intension of just window shopping. We'll see how that goes.